A new way to read WHO KILLED THE HUMANS? + A free story
It's almost here.
Hello,
Just over a week ago I sent out THE POEM THAT ENDED THE UNIVERSE, a satirical story about a poet who takes so long introducing his work that time itself grows old and dies before he gets round to it. I made it free to read because the final version will be a lot sharper, and I wanted to show you some of WKTH before it comes out.
The story is part of WKTH’s larger lore.
Much like WHO BUILT THE HUMANS? WHO KILLED THE HUMANS? has a dark, satirical sense of humour and a larger narrative world woven through its collected stories. Unlike WBTH however, the format (and optional audience participation) are different now, simply because as an artist I am not satisfied to do the same thing twice.
This time, many of the stories take place in the same reality, with a group of meandering protagonists (including Barry Binbag, who was definitely in the last one, you just missed him) bumping into each other across time and space. Barry has an affair with a thrifting alien, destroys the universe, and might find his way onto God’s (no relation) sofa.
So, whilst WHO BUILT THE HUMANS? has 11 universes, split into 47 chapters, which are slotted together like pieces to some intricate crystalline puzzle, WHO KILLED THE HUMANS? is a little bit simpler.
This time, rather than being given an opportunity to universe-hop at the end of a story (the stories in WBTH were split so that no two chapters from the same reality touched across the pages), you are instead given a fork in the road, a coin to flip, a lever to pull this way or that.
This time, for some stories, you can choose how a story ends before reading it. It’s very simple. I will propose an idea, such as ‘fungus overdosing on humans’ and you can choose.
Your choice then leads you to a comedy story, or a serious story. This won’t happen for all the stories, because I write my best when not constrained, but it’s a nice device, and those stories which are thematically similar might have this feature preceding them.
It’s a lot of fun.
When to expect it
You can pre-order the eBook now on Amazon. I’ve set the launch date as February 3rd 2025.
Because that’s when David Bowie’s EARTHLING album came out.
Also, it gives me a lot of wiggle room for unplanned things to happen. The book feels almost ready, but I like to loop back through time and bother my past self until I can fit more jokes between the lines.
With WHO BUILT THE HUMANS, I added the Furukawa Universe quite late into development, and pushed the date back a bit as I realised I needed more time to edit the order of the stories. The ordering took a long time, as I needed the book to function not just left-to-right, but universe-by-universe.
It was, essentially, a hybrid of literary and gaming design ideas.
I won’t need to do that with WKTH, and I am confident I can get it done by this Christmas, 2024, if not Autumn.
The book is currently 75,000 words long, so I don’t think it will be too long until I actually finish it as it’s going to be a more manageable size than the last, but I’d like to actually advertise this one so I’m enjoying the time I have to chisel away at it whilst the crowdfundr slowly builds its funds. The goal for the crowdfundr is £1947, most of which will go immediately into printing the thing. To me, the crowdfundr is a measure of how interested everyone is in getting the book. I had a rough time marketing the first one for its first year, and I want to make sure this one has an audience BEFORE it arrives, rather than two years after.
Pre-orders are available on Amazon and Crowdfundr now. Here are some benefits for each.
AMAZON - the benefits
You can get the eBook here
You don’t pay for the eBook until a week before release, so you can order it now and let future you worry about it
It will turn up on your Kindle device on release day, which I plan to be around late 2024
Accumulated pre-orders will rush out into the algorithm on release day, making WKTH a bestseller if a few hundred people pre-order it. If we can make that happen, then I will find future books a lot easier to market, so they’ll come out faster
If the price ever drops before release, you will only pay the lowest price
Again, you won’t be charged until a week before release
CROWDFUNDR - the benefits
There are more than eBooks available
You can get signed paperbacks and hardbacks, which include bookmarks
You can get your name in the book
You can order a signed copy of WHO BUILT THE HUMANS? as well!
You buy the things you like right away, and we worry about postage closer to the finish line (there are predicted prices on each listing)
Buying the thing right away means you’re paying me to make it, which means I can afford to spend more time writing the book rather than staring at Indeed or Jobballs or Teacherscammer all day, as I spend a lot of my time now trying to find jobs and discovering they aren’t real
I get to tell people writing is my full-time thing, and WHO KILLED THE HUMANS comes out sooner, rather than later
I will add weirder perks for supporters as time goes on
You can name a character after yourself (who might die)
You can pay me to come to your house and yell at you
Yes, really
Once you click this big pink button, you want the top two links on my linktree.
And for anyone who can’t see the button, copy this into your browser.
https://linktr.ee/Phillipcarter
You can also help me spread the word by sharing this Substack.
Any ideas for perks? Message me or comment below.
I wanted to say thanks again to everyone who has joined the Crowdfundr so far. I took a huge risk when I decided to self-publish WHO BUILT THE HUMANS? in 2020, and I think it was worth it. But it is scary sometimes. You don’t know if anyone wants a thing, and yet you spend a year or two privately working on the thing. It’s a bold financial, artistic, and temporal risk.
But people wanted WBTH, and I have heard people want WKTH too.
Note: The crowdfundr tiers reference “WBTH2” because that was the original title for this book when I launched that project. I think we can all agree WHO KILLED THE HUMANS? is much better. The book is, after all, not a direct sequel. It can be read on its own.
Whilst there’s no Free Fiction Friday today, I have realised that not everyone has WHO BUILT THE HUMANS, nor do you all have one of its short stories, THE CERTAIN UNIVERSE. I’ve made this one free in most places (except Amazon, because the price keeps changing for reasons unknown to science) so you can have a read of it before or after checking out the crowdfundr.
BONUS STUFF
I have also added some standup recordings to my Patreon. It’s not quite ready for relaunch yet, but when it is, I’ll be counting any and all support toward the WKTH crowdfundr. I put my standup on Patreon because it’s a touch spicier than the comedy here, and Patreon is a lot more accessible for people who bump into me in cocktail bars.
See you in the next post, which will be a weird sci-fi story.
What if I want to choose silly AND serious? My curiosity won't let me stick to one path. 😉
(By the way, we need to get the statue built commemorating that averted alien invasion.)