The 505 Lus3r - Aaron Frale
Story 3 of 5 from Macabre Multiverse
I first met Aaron Frale in a Comedians of Patreon group. As the two sci-fi guys in the chat, we quickly became friends. He was in The Cosmic Comedy Collection.
And now he’s in Macabre Multiverse, too.
The 505 Lus3r
Farhad Daghestani stuck the lettering on the back of his car and stood up to admire his handiwork. The aging blue Saturn now displayed “505 Lus3rs” in a black serif font on bold white stickers. He had purchased them from a hardware store where people would buy digits for their house or mailbox.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” asked a stocky man in a yellow and red TACOCAT uniform, who happened to be walking by in the mostly empty mall parking lot as Farhad scrutinised his creation.
“It’s my startup. We meet here on Tuesdays to give free advice about computers, hacking, and technology,” Farhad said.
“Hey, wait, you’re those nerds from the billboard. I couldn’t stop laughing.”
“We are freelance computer specialists.”
“Hope everything runs smoothly!” the man guffawed and strutted into the building.
“Someday you’ll need our expertise!” Farhad called after him, but the guy was already halfway to the decaying structure that was Winrock Mall in uptown Albuquerque. Farhad sighed and pulled out his smart phone. He sat on the trunk of his car with his legs dangling over his handiwork.
He checked his web stats, and despite the photoshoot of him and his business partners in black leather, sunglasses, and kung-fu poses, in addition to offering the most affordable on-demand IT services in the 505 area code, the site still had only a marginal number of weekly visitors, one of which he was pretty sure was his mom.
His social media profiles were equally dismal, and he did not bother checking reviews. 505_Lus3rs had a single one-star review from a person who blasted their business for refusing to hook them up to the “dark web”. Farhad had thought about changing the name, but he already owned the domain for the next five years, had filed the LLC paperwork with the State, and had bought half a space on a local billboard.
“505 Lus3rs. Albuquerque’s tech ninjas,” it proclaimed, with a photo he thought was pretty badass at the time. But with an unfortunate placement next to a colonoscopy ad, it made all their faces appear as if they were straining.
Farhad grunted and untagged his business from the colon ninja photos that had been circulating lately and checked his online advertising stats. Lots of expense, no conversions – sounded about right.
He sighed and typed into his social media blasting app: “Free tech advice. Winrock Mall food court. Five minutes.” He added a few rocket ships and fireworks explosions, then hit “Send”.