It is here.
Discover the secrets of my next book, including the story titles, inside this email.
If you’re reading this email, you’re part of an exclusive club. This is set to subscribers-only, meaning the outside world won’t know that WBTH2 has launched until my birthday, which is in two days.
WBTH2 IS FINALLY HERE.
I told you I’d do it.
But that doesn’t feel like a big enough announcement for me. You know what I’m like, always trying to add some much-needed value to literature. I slammed extra chapters for the Furukawa Universe into WBTH1 in the later-middle of its development as a sort of preview for my other stories, but primarily because I wanted WBTH1 to have an unreasonable value for money.
“Could have been three books” said my marketing contact.
At 125,000 words, he may well have been correct. I’m repubbing BEYOND UNCERTAIN STARS as its own novella soon, because doing things this way amuses me. WBTH1 was intended as a “Best-of collection from a dead writer who was not yet dead, and for whom this was his debut book”. That was genuinely the driving philosophy behind it containing all those multifaceted forms of storytelling. That and wanting to “Fit a multiverse into a novel”.
Both of those things were, for a while, written on old receipts affixed to my desk.
The goal for WBTH2 is a bit weirder.
I want to strengthen the interactive nature of it, make it funnier, and make each individual story a universe in and of itself.
You’ll see the link again later, so you don’t have to click it right now. Below I will walk you through the perks of the crowdfundr, why you might want to join it, and most importantly, what the stories will be about.
WHO BUILT THE HUMANS? TWO
THE RETURN OF THE HUMANS.
It’s going to be weirder than WBTH1, that’s for sure. This time I’m not writing 11 universes and splitting them into 47 chapters. I’m refining and reinventing the formula. I know it worked last time, but as a writer I am wired for novelty. I want to find something new, and if I can’t find it, I will create it.
This time round, you get to pick the tone of a story before you sit down to read it.
But how Phillip, you cry in a silly voice, how can you do such a thing inside a piece of physical media?
Easy.
Most stories shall be preceded by an opening theory or idea. I will say to you, “Wouldn’t it be cool if crabs could teleport?” and you will choose YES or NO. Your choice takes you to the next story.
Take Mycelial for example. That’s going in WBTH2. Its partner story is a delirious comedy about mushrooms using humans to get high. You’ll only find that alternate universe inside WBTH2.
The same happens for a few other stories. So you can have clever astronauts or stupid astronauts, deterministic time travel or multiversal time travel. Like with WBTH1, the universes have their own set physics, their own rules, and sometimes their own twisted sense of humour.
So in a way, again, WBTH2 becomes a parody of itself, a satire of all the tropes and traps of Science Fiction that is as relentless as it is contemplative.
I’m doing it again, but weirder, and newerererer.
In the words of the soon-to-be-megafamous Tin foil Tim (who does return)…
Where’s my f*cking pulitzer?
But it’s not all fancy wordwiggling and verboglamour, some of the titles sound nice too. Look at them. Bask in their weirdness.
Rawr of the Wurlds XD
The day the Earth stood up really fast and felt dizzy
Locket
A planet called Moron
The intertemporal hotel
Tombs of the Tekekk
Horse bum scarf story (I like how bad this title is)
All inclusive cattle mutilation holiday
A weird old man called God
The poet who ended the universe
On nostalgia
Holes
The evil willy from outer space
A game called Human
Planet to planet salesman
Charity
March of the Prayerphage (once removed from WBTH1 and then shelved to make room for Nori Furukawa, I am pleased to see this manic cosmos return)
Moo says the time traveller
Purple prose and pathetic parenting
An idiot’s guide to sexing up aliens
Hologram Kebab
The interdimensional kitten
Circular Treasoning
And there will, as per usual, be some comedy poems. I won’t spoil the titles, they get weird. The stories are going to be about the end of reality (in funnier ways than in WBTH1), the odd bit of AI (but not much), some teleportation, a man who can talk to the sun, political parenting, ex-boyfriend ghosts, astral projection… the usual. Oh, and Gord is back. He’s not dead. Just a bit exploded.
We’ve probably ‘met’ in some odd way on the internet (or indeed at an event) before, but who am I?
Well, I’m a Science Fiction and Comedy writer. I started writing when I was five years old with poetry, moved onto game design pretty immediately after (drawing platformer levels on receipt printing paper), and then graduating to being an angsty almost-teenager who wrote deliriously dark fan fiction of Lego’s Bionicle storyline. One of my characters got so weird that he needed his own new location in the Bionicle universe, and after a few months, I realised I had accidentally written a novel.
I then accidentally wrote two more. I was seventeen at the time, and during those feverish months not only discovered what a ‘girlfriend’ was, but had my first telephone conversation with a vanity publisher, who I deliberately irritated.
You will be pleased to know I did not take up their ‘special offer’ of £7000, though to my teenage brain, that did seem a small price for lasting fame and statues erected in my honour atop the bones of my enemies.
Alas, publishing books is a slightly slower process…
I got a degree in Writing, then a Masters degree. I founded Halfplanet Press. I put out an anthology by writers at my uni (being careful to pair inexperienced first-years with professors and pro-writers, to balance the imagined playing field and showcase skilled writers regardless of qualifications). I opened a writing society. I became a writing tutor for a while. I wrote jokes for a wedding. I did time travel jokes at Bright Club. I did the Manchester Fringe.
And some other stuff, and all of that took thirteen years.
After which, I wrote this very email.
Spooky.
Perks and stuff
Like with WBTH1, WBTH2 will be shipped with a bookmark, or two, or three, so you can circumnavigate the multiverse with an extra silky, extra long helper thing.
I am working on funny things to do with the bookmark.
And mindbending things.
Trust me they are weird. I’ll show you soon.
One major perk is that you can get your name in one of the stories. This worked very well for two people who fell in love with WBTH1. They’ll both be reading this email. Hi guys!
Only 4 slots exist for this perk, as it’s a big deal.
And there are more perks at lower prices for more people as well. Behold, in this one you can get your name in the front as a supporter of the book.
It’s limited to 30 slots because I want to fit you all on one neat, stylish page.
So WBTH2 is still a complex, hilarious, beautiful, and nerdy thing, but with an added functional sheen that should hopefully mean it reaches some more people.
I’m excited. This is going to be the best thing I’ve written so far. I’ve already written some of it, and there’s a tier to gain early access to that, too.
Happy 31st birthday to me. I am making another big, weird book.
The WBTH1 hardback page will be on its way shortly, and all funds raised from it will automatically be calculated toward WBTH2.
Congratulations on your new book, Phillip! I received your email of the crowdfundr. Thank you! I wish you all the best. 🧡🙏🤗
I will have to wait for my next book budget to activate on the 10th. Lol.